Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
