I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
