from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
