just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
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I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
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Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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