I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
did i walk over a car last night?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
