She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
