If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
