youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
