I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
