Soap is not a condiment
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
