This girl is more easily done than said...
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
