i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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