well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
