I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
