It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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