She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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