Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
