What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
