There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
