The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
NoShamevember. You game?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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