Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
