I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
