shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We named our party play list daddy issues
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
