I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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