i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
