FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
