If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize