I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
