I wanna bring you to show and tell
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize