Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
