check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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