I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
