once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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