Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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