worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
