I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
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