By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
