You just made me feel so damn special
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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