I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
