yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
