to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
