im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
