hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
