I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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