If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
