you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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