scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
i need some magic done to my vagina
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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