I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize