It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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