Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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