so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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