I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
