so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
