i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
