this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
