remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
