ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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