It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Randomize
