shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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