2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
she looked like the before picture.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
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