Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
