If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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