found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
