A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Found the puke drawer
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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