I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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