I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
